Little Johnny Stories – Dad to June…

These are some of the stories I have told to June over the years when she wants to hear “Little Johnny” stories. Mostly they are true stories of things I remember from childhood, tho sometimes the gaps of memory are filled in with things to make it interesting to her. She often remembers stories that I’ve told her that I have forgotten I told her, and it’s sometimes challenging to remember what it was all about from her description, so they are an evolving form! The titles are mostly from what she calls them when she asks to hear them… I will post a few of these along and along as I can get them written up.

“Little Johnny and his Mommy”

Once upon a time when Little Johnny was a very little boy living in a duplex beside the highway in Gray, Georgia, (which Little Johnny always called Georgia Gray) he wandered out to the edge of the highway from the back yard where he was supposed to be playing. His mommy had always told him to stay in the back yard and never, never go out near the highway because it was so dangerous.

But that day, Little Johnny saw the big Army trucks loaded with tanks and big guns and lots of interesting things, so he wanted to get a better look. He wandered across the front yard watching the convoy and even went down into the ditch by the highway. Mommy was watching out the window and she saw that he was leaving the back yard, so she wiped her hands on her apron and headed for the front door.  She saw Johnny just as he was going into the ditch, and she started calling out to him, “Johnny, you get back in this yard! Get away from that highway! Come back here right now!”

But Johnny was really interested in those big green army trucks and the things on them, so he glanced back at his Mommy and said “Okay Mommie!”

But he didn’t come back. He just stood in that ditch watching. He didn’t even notice that Mommy was coming across the front yard now, and she was not happy! She was still calling to him to come back.

When she got to the ditch, she grabbed Johnny by the arm and turned him around and said, “Young man, what are you doing! You know you are not supposed to be out here by this highway!”

“Yes Mommy…” Johnny said. He was not watching the trucks anymore, he was watching Mommy’s  very angry face, and he was worried.

Mommy turned him around and gave him a good spank on his bottom and then started marching him back to their apartment, talking to him the whole time about how bad it was to go out to that highway and how dangerous it was and how he had better never, ever do that again or he would get the spanking of his life when his Daddy got home.

“Yes, Mommy,” Johnny said. He was crying now, and he was very sorry that he had gone out to the highway. “I’ll never do that again, Mommy!” he promised.

“Well, I sure hope not!” Mommy said. She was still mad, but she was starting to calm down now. Stopped and knelt down beside Johnny. “You really scared me, you know! I love you very much, Johnny, and I don’t want you to get hurt, so please remember to do what I tell you to do!”

“Yes, Mommy. I will,” Johnny said.

And he was sure that he would really try to remember that, because he did not like to see his Mommy so mad!

“Little Johnny and the Preacher”

One Sunday not long after Little Johnny had moved to Georgia Gray, where his Granmunnie lived, Johnny’s Mommy and Daddy invited the preacher from their church to come over for dinner after church. Little Johnny’s Grandaddy, who died a long time ago when Johnny’s Daddy was just 19 (he was almost 30 by now), had been a Baptist preacher, so Johnny’s Daddy and Mommy really liked going to church and they wanted to get to know everybody in the church, because most of them had known his Grandaddy. They also wanted to make a good impression on the preacher, so they told Little Johnny to be really nice to him.

Now Little Johnny was a sweet-looking little boy, with a head full of reddish curls, and his Mommy sometimes said he looked like a little angel and she sure wished he’d act like one. So Johnny said he would be good.

But, in the duplex where they lived were two little boys a little older than Johnny. Mommy said they were “sawmill kids” because their daddy worked in a sawmill, and she also said that sawmill kids were sometime kinda mean. She was right about these two little boys, because they had been teaching Johnny some kinda mean things. Like bad words to say when people were doing things you didn’t like.

So when the preacher came in and met sweet-looking little Johnny, he started rubbing Johnny’s head and saying what pretty curls he had. Well, Johnny didn’t like that so much, so he looked at the preacher and he said, “Get your damn hand offa me!”

Oh my gosh! Johnny’s Mommy and Daddy were so embarrassed, because, you know, nobody’s supposed to say cus words to a preacher, especially not a sweet-looking little boy, so they apologized and they made Johnny say he was sorry and they tried to explain that he was learning bad words from the little boys next door and they would never let him hear them saying anything like that.

So the preacher just laughed and said, “Oh yes, it’s fine, just being a little boy!”

And they all laughed and tried to forget about it, but it was not quite the perfect after-church dinner that Johnny’s Mommy was hoping for!