Author Archives

by

The Family, Fall 2022

[Continuing as chronological, tho already blogged much of this as current… hope this not too confusing.]

July 23, 2022

Oh lord! June’s pretending to talk on a phone (one of her dominoes), and she tells me that her pretend brother called and wants to go on a date. I tell her she can’t, because she’s too young, plus no dates with her brother! She calls him back and says, quite emphatically, “I’m not going!” Then she tells me that he’s not happy and is threatening to have her arrested! Oh lord. She’s four.

Aug. 2022

The kids are in school now. Things are going well so far, though the run up was hard! Getting ready and being emotionally prepared has been stressful for us both. June was doing “pretend school” tonight, and came out of her room in a skirt and wearing her backpack. She struck a pose and asked, “Don’t I look cute!!?”

June has been sick and missed a few days this month … we’ve all been sick off and on. I guess stuff they’re picking up at school. I got a negative on a COVID test, so I guess it’s not that. June is loving school and Marvin’s hating it. Everyone else seems to be doing okay, though I don’t hear much from the other kids. Lucy went on a tour out west with a circus group, had a great time.

Sept. 2022

June continues to amaze us with her learning — and drive us crazy with her stubborn willfulness. She loves playing with scrabble letters and dominoes and is learning letters and numbers. She also has the concept of adding! She loves trying to write her name, and other letters and numbers. She uses very advanced words and phrases such as “a gust of wind” and “illness.” And she’s forever asking “Why?” or “What does that mean?”

October 2022

June and Marvin loved our Eden family gathering at Gene’s. Baby Hugo was the cutest thing, and June and Sophia loved playing with him together. Eight kids in their generation there.

November 2022

We were playing with the TicTacTony toy, which has red and blue discs. June arranged them as a flower and said, “It’s called the red and blue flower, written by James Carolina!”

A weird comment from the girl: “ All those boys are so stoopid! They don’t like their wives!” Shrugs her shoulders. (As part of some fantasy play with a pretend meeting- June on her “phone”!)

She’s learned the concept “equal.” And, amazingly, she read correctly all the numbers in the table of contents in one of our books! I had to help her a bit with 109, but she got the other hundreds correct.

by

The Children, Spring 2022

[Continuing the chronological blog here, tho some of this I’ve already blogged as current journaling. ]

One of June’s favorite comments lately is, “Now here’s the plan!” We hang out a lot. Today, Marvin and mommie are off on a field trip, so we’re doing mud pies, scooter rides and playing on the clay hill today. She’s really fun to hang with. Her amazing skills and saying continue to get better. She recognizes several letters and numbers, writes some of them, and can count her fingers. She can go through the Poppy’s Feelings book with almost word-for-word accuracy, and she knows most of Groovycorns by heart. She regularly corrects me if I read a word wrong in any of our regular story books. And she’s making progress on going to sleep on her own!

Today (April 17), she tells me, after a lecture on listening to me and doing what I ask her to do, that I need to listen to her. So I said, you need to listen to me! She replied, quite sweetly, “We need to listen to each other!” Her newest saying, with great gusto, “Oh Baby!”

I’ve been wondering if anxiety and stress can cause dissociation…

We met up with some of Taylor’s family this week, Jerry and Karen one day, then Walt came to visit, and then we met Jerry’s sister in the park. The kids loved seeing “Poppy” and the Easter basket he brought!

June had me playing with stuffies for about an hour today—so much imagination! She creates these complex story lines punctuated with songs and interpretative dance. Her songs really catch up the emotional tone of what she’s singing about in amazing ways! One was “I’m so happy!” and another was a sweet, high melody about being sad…

Marvin’s 7th birthday (April 28) was great fun for all, with surprises galore. Though it wasn’t a party per se, Marvin’s friend Xavier came over with Michelle, his mom. Also Granny, Kay, Leslie and kids, and Mrs. Dot all were there, so was fun. Taylor made a truly wonderful chocolate cake, and we got the kids a Nintendo Switch with a TV screen, so Marvin was very happy!

June and I are hanging again, as Mom is off to town. Bike and scooter rides already, plus playing, a little TV, and some drawing. She’s always engaging.

May began with sweetness and love, cuddles and conversation, lots of happy moments and opening up to each other. We’ve all been pretty healthy, tho the allergies are bad with all the pollen. We also had a great teacher conference with Marvin’s teachers and speech therapist. They were all very complimentary about Marvin’s work in kindergarten. And good news – June gets to be in Screven Pre-K next year! She needs the connections and outlet. She’s always grabbing me, “Play with me!” – so I’m down on the floor listening to her stuffy stories. She’s a wonder, but she’s very challenging.

She’s so happy that she’s going to school next year! She asked me the other night if she was going to school tomorrow! It may be a long summer! She’s a big on the ADHD side for sure, and focus is sometimes a problem. She told me today (May 14) that she can watch TV and play at the same time… guess she gets that from me. She’s often distracted by something, anything, in the midst of some task or mission. Yesterday she set up a little store in the living room with her toy cash register and lots of toys to sell! I hope the Pre-K is ready for her!

Marvin is doing so well in Kindergarten, so it seems likely June will be fine in Pre-K. We’ve noticed that Marvin actually seems to have calmed down a lot since being in Kindergarten this year. And it seems that playing video games helps him calm down as well. Engaged! Most of his problem behaviors — meltdowns, crying and screaming, such things — are all much better!

We’re looking forward to a family gathering with my siblings and families in October. A good conversation with Liana recently, she is positive about coming, tho Lucy is probably going to be too busy. It’s been more than 2 years since we got together, and a year since Bob’s memorial. We need to get together.

The kids are sick this week (June 1) since a swim last Saturday. We’re both tired but healthy. June said today that when its her birthday she thinks there will be an avalanche. I asked her if she knows what an avalanche is and she said, “I know what an avalanche is! It’s when a rock falls down from a cliff, and it kills you!” Another day she tipped my hat back and said, “Now you look like a bro!” She’s full of cute comments!

We had to cancel June’s birthday party (June 9) on account of a COVID case at VBS First Baptist. We had cake and gifts with just us. Sad.

Stressful month so far, as we’ve been anticipating Marvin’s heart procedure at the end of June. But it’s done now (June 24) and we’re home and he’s fine! It was a two-day ordeal, tho the medical part was less than an hour, and remarkably, he’s not had a lot of impact from it, and he’s improving rapidly. We’re so relieved!

A great conversation with Liana yesterday (July 9) and she’s still positive about the family gathering. I’ve begun the blog and I’m hoping everyone will read it, even Marvin and June, one day!

We went for a fun trip to St. Simons (mid-July) and Taylor and Marvin climbed the lighthouse while June and I sat below and waved. She didn’t like the ghost stories that preceded the climb! She has been WILD lately, going through this defiance thing. Trying to talk to her, ended up giving her a spank, but that doesn’t seem to help. I need a new approach!

Mom’s off to a workshop today so me and the kids… hanging out. June’s in her bedroom pretend reading to herself, one of her favorite things to do. She ‘reads’ off and on when I’m reading bedtime stories to her… amazing how she remembers the words to the stories, even over weeks later… And the complexity of her play with little characters and stuffed toys is narrative driven.

An amazing comment from her the other night. I told her I loved her, and she said, “I love you too! Usually, I love the whole world!”

I think she does!

by

The Children, Winter 2022

January 7, 2022

Our fifth Christmas together was wonderful, very sweet with lots of visiting with family. The Woodards at Granny’s Christmas Eve dinner, John and Manna and family came for a visit, and the kids got along great! Also a visit to Marvin’s family in Cherokee! Wild and very fun visit, lots of cousins and most of Marvin’s dad’s family. Though Marvin was pretty sick after we got home.

January 15, 2022

We’re putting a playground swing/slide together, and June is actually being very helpful. She can put the washers on the bolts, hammer in the T-nuts (she’s quite proficient with a hammer!) and screw in the bolts. She even knows which way to turn them to go in or out! I noticed when I asked her to take some out that she intuitively knew which way to turn them! Pretty amazing! Lots of adults don’t know that. In addition, I was very impressed with her work ethic! She made sure those T-nuts were hammered all the way in, and she kept at it even when she was tired. She really wanted to be helpful and not just play, she followed instructions and was very cooperative!

February 3, 2022

We were sick much of January, though didn’t seem to ever be the Omicron- though we were worried.

I’ve tried to get in touch with Liana a lot recently to no avail— am a little worried an not sure what to do. So hard.

Trying to get the kids moved into the other bedroom. Things are up and down, sometimes I’m just hanging on by a thread…

February 27, 2022

Juney continues to spout amazing stuff! Says “ actually” a lot! And this morning over something she said, “What are they damn looking for!?”

March 5, 2022

March has started off well! June continues to amaze—playing in the sand, making castles and telling elaborate stories about the people who crash them down! She likes my “talking stories” at story time, and now she’s making up her own! What a trip! She’s very involved in them lately, suggesting topics from her imagination and then correcting my efforts to turn them into stories.

Challenging! And her Why? questions! “Why do we have bones? Why do we need walls?” Almost anything that occurs to her, she asks why we need it. Challenging to find answers! I wish I had a list of all her questions!

March 11, 2022

June learned to pump her swing yesterday! I had tried to get her to do it several times before, she kinda got the idea last weekend. Then yesterday she was begging me to push her, and I just started saying “Pump, pump!” In rhythm with her swinging and she got it, started doing it. She was so excited! Screaming and laughing and saying “I got it!”

No sick kids the past month, so we’re happy! And they’re in their own bedroom! They were fine by themselves all night, so all good!

March 20, 2022

Everything seems to be back on track now! We survived a late freeze last week, the yard looking great. The kids are getting along well most of the time! More outside time means a happier Juney! Marvin is pretty addicted to the TV/tablet stuff!

A big breakthrough! Talked to Liana for the first time since the Bob Memorial. She had heard that Stewart and Julian are selling Mom’s house, so we talked a good bit, and agreed we needed to talk more often. She told me more about her medical issues, which is very worrying to me!

Also saw Lucy a few weeks ago! She was on the way back to ATL from a visit to St. Pete. So good to see her! Life has gone so crazy! The split, the move, the virus, the world! Never see anybody! Sad! Maybe things will get better this summer!

Brother Gene is not doing so well lately, but we’re hoping for a sibling reunion this summer. His issues are spreading, getting treatment. Very worried. Also worried about Stewart since he’s moved to Brunswick and I never see him! John and Manna and the kids seem to be doing well! Hope to see them soon!

March 25, 2022

Marvin can read! And June is potty-trained!

And June told me, “ Dad, one of these hippos doesn’t work properly!”

by

Wild kids, Fall ‘21

September 16, 2021

Miss Anna June is wild lately! She and Marvin have fun, and they’re not fighting as much, but they ARE wild! Loud and running around the house on these rainy days! They need outside time!

June and I walked to city hall today, and she liked that! A bit shy of Barbara though. She’s learning so fast and remembers everything! Her language skills are over the top, and she’s very print-aware. Be reading soon! Still a big fan of Doc McStuffin!

September 26, 2021

I talked to everyone but Gene on my birthday. These talks seem so much more poignant since Bob’s death. Time is short for all of us. Everyone seems to be doing well, though Liana is sick. She said she’s tested negative twice so probably not the Rona. Scary. I am so ready for this Trump and his effects and Coronavirus to be gone from our lives! The two most destructive events in our national life in my 3/4 century of living.

October 17, 2021

I had a long and difficult talk with Liana this afternoon— bad news about her possible RA diagnosis. Lots of pain in her hands for a week or so. She’s delaying g her plans with Dani, and she’s not coming to Bob’s memorial in Dixie. So the chances of seeing her get slim. Maybe I can go to Atlanta, tho it’s a hard trip for me now. She’s also still pretty hurt over everything and it’s hard to know what to say to her other than that I wish I had handled things differently. Regrets are bitter medicine, and no amount of sugar makes them go down any easier.

And what’s to be done about it all now? It’s a hard conversation to have. I think we both feel a little better after talking. I hope so. I need to communicate somehow.

November 21, 2021

We had Bob’s memorial service last Sunday. Powerful and hard, but a great family experience. I think everyone appreciates the family more now. Taylor loved the family gathering and loved everyone. I think they all loved her too. Though there was some negativity.

November 28, 2021

Things are going so well lately, so sweet! The kids are doing well, bedtime has finally settled into a new routine for them, story time is good, no fighting or difficulty over it. Marvin usually goes right to sleep, June is going to sleep fairly easily with me, no crying for Mommie or getting up and down now.

They’re getting along better usually, tho June can be a stinker sometimes! And I’m a happy man!

December 5, 2021

Things continue to go well! The kids are still trying at times, but overall that’s better. June has been really stubborn a lot, but she’s also very sweet, too!

Marvin learned to ride his bike without training wheels yesterday, so we let him ride to the playground today and he did great! He was very responsive and good, able to manage the bike well! June’s frustrated because she can’t keep up on her little trike, so we’re gonna get her a bike. She’ll be riding in a year! Bedtime has been a little harder lately, but still okay. Christmas decorating is under way!

December 18, 2021

Things continue to go well on most fronts… June is being a trial lots of the time, but we are dealing with it. Marvin is doing well in Kindergarten, maturing well!

No movement on the Liana front— the other kids seem to be doing well.

by

Herbal Info

Recipes frequently referred to…

Chaga/Reishi tincture (double extraction)

—experimental…

Decoction of Chaga and Reishi:

>2 Tbsp Chaga, c. 2 slices Reishi in 16 oz water.

>Simmer 1.5 hrs., adding water to maintain 16 oz.

>Strain and add marc to CR2.

CR1: Alcohol extraction Chaga:

>3 Tbsp Chaga.

>4 oz. alcohol (40%).

>Soak for 4 weeks min.

>Strain, simmer marc in water about 1 hour, reducing to about 2 oz. water (this can be repeated if desired).

>Strain water, then mix the two liquids.

CR2: Second extraction, alcohol:

>Put marc from decoction in 2 oz. alcohol (40%) initially.

>Keep adding marc and alcohol to this jar with each future decoction, plus enough alcohol to keep it covered, recording date when added.

>When CR1 is ready, be sure it’s been at least 2 weeks past last addition to CR2, then strain and mix with CR1.

>OPTIONAL: If decoction is available, add an amount equal or less than the quantity of alcohol in the CR2 extraction.

Lemon Balm/Blue Vervain tincture:

>2 cups dry Lemon Balm

>c. 2/3 cup dry Blue Vervain

>add alcohol to fill jar to about 18 oz. (3 mos. supply?)

Immunity-Tea:

>Tbsp each: Astragalus, Eleuthero, Ashwagandha, Nettle.

>teaspoon each: Red Clover, Echinacea, Elderberry

>Overnight infusion in Qt. water

Decongestion Tea (kids):

>Mullein, Catnip, Chamomile, Tulsi, Marshmallow

—use about 1 tea bag each.

Four Thieves spray:

>dissolve Tbsp salt, simmer cinnamon stick in 12 oz. water.

>Clove Oil – 45 drops (or simmer cloves in water).

>Calendula Oil – 30 drops.

>Eucalyptus Oil – 30 drops.

>Lemongrass Oil – 15 drops.

>OPTIONAL: Peppermint Oil – 5 drops (or simmer herb).

Comfrey/Plantain Healing Oil:

>1/4 cup Comfrey root (chopped).

>1/2 cup Plantain leaf (dry).

>Infuse in 8 oz. Olive oil 6 weeks.

For Healing/Pain:

>Add Clove/Peppermint/Lavender/St. John’s oils for pain

Ensalvation of Healing Oil:

>4 oz. oil

>3 or 4 Tbsp Shea Butter

>About 3 tsp beeswax beads (=2Tbsp bulk)

Fire Cider::

>Onion, ginger, horseradish (1/4 cup powder)

>Chopped habanero (1 or 2)

>Chopped fresh Rosemary 1/2 cup

>Zest and juice of a lemon

>Turmeric 1 Tbsp.

>1 Qt. apple cider vinegar for 6 weeks

>Strain, simmer marc and add that water and honey.

by

Double Extractions

February 19, 2023

I’ve lately discovered that there is truly a lot of variety in how people do tinctures— especially with difficult herbals that are better when double extracted. So this is a report on the beginnings of an experimental process to see what works best for me.

I’ve been making teas and, recently, decoctions of Chaga, and I learned that it is one of those substances that, on account of the fact that some of it’s beneficial compounds are soluble only in alcohol, I should do a double extraction. That means normally that you simmer the mast (the herb that’s left over after straining out the tinctured alcohol) a bit and then combine the two liquids, being sure your quantities end up with a minimum 25% alcohol for preservation.

But then I started reading various approaches to get a better idea of how to do this, and found four distinct approaches. The details are a bit tedious, but essentially, it comes down to which you do first, the alcohol or the water extraction. Then there are variations in how long for each and how many times you do the water extraction. All of which is sort of a testimony to the really deep levels of beneficial compounds this Chaga has!

A Hybrid Method

I am in the process of double extraction of Chaga chunks by a hybrid method that combines several of the elements from the methods I found. Since I need to have the decoction to drink daily, I am continuing to do my water extraction every few days, and placing the mast from each in a jar with alcohol, adding a little alcohol each time to keep the proportions about the same.

I’ve also started an alcohol tincture with unused Chaga chunks, which I will let soak for 4 weeks or so — various sources suggest from 2 weeks to 6 weeks. At that point, I’ll be sure the second extraction jar has been sitting at least 2 weeks since the last time I added mast. Then I’ll strain the alcohol tincture and simmer the mast for a few hours, adding water as needed to maintain the volume.

Then the challenge will be to do the math to figure out how to combine the two so that it’s 25% alcohol, allowing for the fact that my alcohol is already 60% water (80 proof). May try to combine with a decoction as well, or just add the double extraction tincture to the future decoctions as I use them.

It’s all seeming a bit complex as I try to plan it, but I’m hoping each step will become clear to me as I go through the process — and modify as needed!

Basically what I’m doing is one batch alcohol first and one batch water first, and then combining the two. Hope it works!

by

No more mamas…

August 4, 2021

So mommy’s been gone two days, our first overnight without her, and things went great! Amazing ! (Taylor took Marvin to Atlanta for his big heart checkup prior to the surgery to fix his leaky ventricle… June hasn’t ever before gone to sleep without nursing, so I was not sure how she would do without her “mamas.”)

I’m so proud of her! She cried a bit last night a few times, but she got over it quickly, never was distraught, and she went to sleep by 10:30 or so. She slept all night, though she was a little upset and looking for Mommy a couple of times this morning. But we had a fun day, walked to the store for milk, and she was so good! Very sweet and cooperative, enjoyed the walk.

Mommy should be home soon, so it’s been good, very bonding! Of course, she needed 100% engagement! I did get some things done for work—a few phone calls and texts—but mostly locked in on her. We swept and washed dishes and scootered and had lots of fun!

After some comment I made about her not really needing “mamas” because she could eat stuff, I got silly and said maybe she could go out in the yard and eat flowers and bugs. She stood right up in front of me, shaking her head and wagging her finger, and said very sternly, “I don’t eat bugs!!” It was too cute!

Her vocabulary and sentences are so amazing now that it’s beyond remembering all the cool stuff she says. And she understands so much about personal interaction that I truly don’t know where it all comes from! (And she knows right/left hand!) She’s very print aware and is always asking about letters—and she can count to 10 perfectly.

August 19, 2021

In the good news, Marvin’s checkup went well and his procedure will be soon. In our life, it has been a hard month. Bob is about to die of COVID, Gene has prostate cancer, I may have it, and things seem to be going to hell on all fronts. Walking on eggshells.

June has been alternatively charming and maddening of late! She is developing so fast I can’t keep up. She talks about doing things “carefully” now, and she said “someone is in there” about a picture of an apple helicopter. She’s doing lots of watercolors the last few days, most of them butts, she says. Also turtles and snakes. She likes to be bad just so we’ll chase her, probably she likes it when Marvin chases her — which she knows exactly how to provoke him to do! But she is very entertaining and very loving — and challenging!

by

Herbal medicine Pt. 4

February 5, 2023

A few simple recipes.

Comfrey/Plantain

I use some version of this every day! Both Comfrey root and Plantain leaf are traditionally revered for healing.

Make infusions in olive oil:

—about 1/4 cup of Comfrey in 4 oz. oil —about 1/4 cup of Plantain in 2 oz. oil

—keep warm for an hour or so and leave in a sunny window for about 6 weeks. Decoct using a potato ricer or other strainer to squeeze all the oil out.

Mix the two together and store in brown glass. It will keep for several months, maybe longer, if kept in a cool dark place.

Variations: use almond or coconut oil, or a mix of oils if you prefer. For a quick oil infusion, heat the oil and herbs in a double boiler at about 125* for several hours. I sometimes infuse both herbs together in a single container, but I don’t think it works as well.

This basically is a healing oil for bruises, strains, sprains and other joint or bone issues. (Comfrey is one of two herbs that are known as boneset.) It’s not recommended for open wounds but may be used on cuts that have partially healed. Another option is to add Clove, Peppermint and/or Lavender for pain relief. You can use essential oils (tho they’re maybe not as ethical) or add the raw herbs to the infusions. (Or make separate oil infusions with them.) You may also make a salve with these oils.

Ensalvation

My recipe for salve is always evolving, and always a bit experimental, but this is a suggested mix: melt about 3 Tbsp of shea butter and 3 tsp of beeswax beads slowly. Add about 4 oz of the oil infusion (and about 45 drops of essential oil if using that) and stir together, put a little on a popsicle stick and stick it in the refrigerator… after 5 min. it should be slightly hardened. If not, add more beeswax or shea.

Please take these instructions as a starting point for your own research into herbal preparations. There are many variations and possibilities in the wide range of resources out there. (The Herbal Academy has a 5-video series on tincture making.)

by

The Children, 2021

Posting this on February 5, 2023, based on journal entries from 2021.

January 29, 2021

New sayings from June: “O-Tay!” like Spanky. And “Oh my!” Lots of complete sentences, like: “I used the blue scissors to cut it in half.” And lots of bring a stinker! She has such definite ideas about what she wants and what she likes!

Marvin and June did very well at the doctor’s office this week. No crying, very cooperative!

For June now, everything is “super!” Super hard, super cold, etc. Marvin has been very sweet with his babies lately— the stuffed Fox and kitten. He’s feeding them and keeping them covered up in a little bed at night.

January 31, 2021

Playing on the porch, Duney presses the button on the strap of the old high chair, then points at the porch screen and says to me, dramatically, “Watch the show!” She narrates as we watch a show of clouds, rain and trees … then it’s Blippy, Baby Shark and Paw Patrol. Very imaginative this child.

Also — “I have to use my powers!” Said about stopping the rain.

February 11, 2021

Playing with my screwgun bits, Duney holds up one with several others dangling from its magnet and says, “It fits perfectly!” At 2-1/2 she’s got that ly adjective form articulated perfectly and so clearly!

February 18, 2021

Playing with some old Tarot cards of Taylor’s, Duney looks quizzically at me and says, “I don’t understand what this is all about!”

May 1, 2021 (Beltane)

My brothers Bob and Stewart came to our house for a visit not long ago, after Daniel’s wedding event, and it was great! Juney loved them both! So wish she could get to know all my family, and them her! She’s such a joy!

May 16, 2021

She continues to amaze us with her cuteness and smartness! She’s been at Granny’s for two weeks now, ( all of them have) and though I see them often, it’s so hard being apart! I miss them so much I can’t stop crying. June has been so sweet to me, tells me she misses me and gives me hugs and kisses. I don’t know if she understands—I don’t. “Don’t worry, I got this!” is her favorite thing to say these days.

June 20, 2021

After six weeks at Granny’s they’ve come home. June can’t stop hugging me and smiling. I think she’s happy to be home! A happy day for me for sure! And she’s three now!

June 2021

Rapprochement is. June seems to be doing well, tho she is constantly testing the boundaries, trying to see how much power she can wield. Following instructions is a problem. Stubborn. But overall good. Progress on all fronts. Love is growing, each day sweeter. The June-Marvin conflict seems to be escalating.

July 31,2021

June’s language development is pretty much over the top now. She also still says all these funny, unexpected things often. She continues to be a great joy for me — but still a stinker a lot too! She loves to torment Marvin because he reacts so predictably—can’t seem to see that by making it fun for her, he ensures it will continue.